Jess’ Thoughts on “Third Places”

After reading Ray Oldenberg’s article on “Third Places,” I reflected on my time in Suburbia. I spent most of my teen years in Connecticut, which I often tell people is a giant suburb of New York City, Boston, and Providence. It could be a case study for Oldenberg. The towns, expansive and sprawling, are meant more as getaways from the bustle of city life than places to spend time chatting with neighbors. Still, many people do not commute, certainly not teenagers who are oft at the mercy of their parents schedules. This got me thinking. Even though there was no real place for teenagers to commune in our town, these kids would make their own “Third Place.” They called it “The Center,” referring to the center of town, but really it was just the grocery store parking lot. An empty space that was free – both cost wise and from the overbearing eyes of authority – that was easily accessible from all parts of town, and with the knowledge that someone would always be there to hang out with. If the police came and told them to move along, they would simply hop in a car and move their third place elsewhere.

I imagine a lot of people who find themselves in similar situations do the same thing. If there isn’t a local pub or coffee house to use, then they will create a space of their own. It may not be a physical space with four walls. It might be the sideline of their kids’ soccer games, a transitional space – somewhere where the public and private spaces meet, such as a sidewalk – or it could even be online. With the emersion of social media, we are trying to reclaim our third places. Now we can enjoy the company of our fellow man without the bothersome task of holding up our end of the conversation or buying overpriced pints. This also gives us the benefit or reaching beyond our small town. Now we can keep up with our Great Aunt who lives across the country or find the other six people who are interested in our unique hobby. We can form communities beyond the places we live and work.

I would not argue that this is a better lifestyle than meeting your friends and neighbors at the local diner, but rather point out that we will never be completely free of the third places. It is in our nature to be social creatures and to find our brethren. If we are zoned out of our favorite local spot, then we will switch locations. You do not have to limit yourself to the confines of a structure. Modern men and women can be fluid and mobile in their approach to finding their own “Third Place.”